Mordecai of the Dead
by Ponyboy1004
Summary: Mordecai's life is falling to pieces. Margaret dumps him, he argues with his mum... But he must take back the heart of his girlfriend and repair his relationship with his mother and face up to the responsibilities of adulthood. Based on Shaun of the Dead. T for language, will change to M in the future for violence and lots of swearing. I DON'T OWN THE COVER IMAGE.
1. Chapter 1

**Before starting, there are some characters from the movie that will still being the same, in addition to deleted/extended scenes of the movie that I will include. Set in a Shaun of the Dead AU.**  
 **Disclaimer: I don't own Regular Show or Shaun of the Dead.**

 **A/N: Yo, guys! I've seen Shaun of the Dead five or six times in a week, so I decided to mix this movie with Regular Show. Why? Because Mordecai reminds me from Shaun, and Rigby from Ed.**

"Last orders please."

The landlord's voice returned Mordecai to the real world. He took a drag from his cigarette, staring blankly into space.

"Mordecai?"

"Yeah…"

"Do you know what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, totally."

He was sitting with Margaret, having a drink.

"You shouldn't feel so responsible." She said.

"Yeah…"

"I know he's your best friend but you do live with him."

"I know…"

"It's not that I don't like Rigby. Rigby, it's not that I don't like you."

"It's ok."

Rigby was next to them, playing a horror themed fruit machine.

"It'd just be nice if we could-

"Fuck!" Said Rigby, hitting the fruit machine.

"-spend a bit more time together-

"Goddammit!"

"-just the two of us-

"Cock it!"

A beat.

"We have a laugh don't we?"

"Yeah…" Replied Mordecai.

They two smiled, sharing some private joke. He relaxed, momentarily off the hook.

"But with Rigby always here, it's no wonder I end up bringing my flatmates out. Then that only exacerbates things." Said Margaret.

"What do you mean?" Asked Mordecai.

"Well, you guys hardly get on do you?"

"No, what does exacerbate mean?"

"It means 'to make things worse'."

"Oh right. Look, it's not that I don't like David and Di. Guys, it's not that I don't like you..."

"That's alright." Replied David and Dianne, who were sitting next to Margaret. Both in their late twenties, David was trendy but straight-laced, Dianne was colourful and chirpy.

"And it's not that I don't want to spend time with you because I do. It's just, Rigby doesn't really have too many friends-

"Can I get any of you cunts a drink?" Interrupted Rigby. "Anybody?"

"No thanks."

"I'm fine thanks, Rigby." Said Margaret.

"Pint Mordecai?"

Mordecai nodded, and made a high-five with Rigby.

"I know friends are important Mordecai, but you've got to set aside quality time for just the two of you. I know I would, if I was Margaret's boyfriend." Said David.

"Or get out more. Daffs is always taking me out to see his listed buildings, I'm always dragging him to the theatre." Said Dianne.

"I'm not so hot on theatre."

"I took my students to see this great new play about incest. Very cool. Lots of swearing."

"He's not so hot on theatre." Said Margaret.

"Well, how about a nice meal? You could go to that restaurant me and Daffs go to. The place that does all the fish. It's your anniversary soon isn't it?"

"It was last week." Said David.

"Oh, so did you do anything special?"

"We came here." Said Margaret.

"Yeah, but that was just me and you." Said Mordecai.

"And Rigby."

"He wasn't with us."

"He was sitting at the bar. It's not the same."

"Mordy, hog lumps!" Said Rigby, throwing a packet of Pork Scratchings in his face.

"Mordecai, what I'm trying to say is, I need something a little more."

He offered her a Pork Scratching, but she declined it.

"More than spending every night in the Winchester. I mean, I'm 29. I've got things I want to do with my life, I want to get out there, do more interesting stuff, live a little, but I'd love to be able to do it with you, but I want you to want to want to do it too."

She laughed grimly at her own silly sentence. Then, she took a Pork Scratching and regarded Mordecai with a mixture of exasperation and affection.

"I don't want to go on at you, Jesus, listen to me. I'm beginning to sound like your Mum. Not that I'd know what she sounds like."

"You still haven't met his Mum?" Asked David.

"Not yet." Said Mordecai.

"I can't believe you haven't met his mum."

"It's not that simple."

"Don't you get along with your Mum, Mordecai?" Asked Dianne.

"It's not that I don't get along with her-

"Are you ashamed of your Mum, Mordecai?" Asked David.

"No I'm not, I love my Mum."

"I love his Mum." Said Rigby, returning with drinks.

"Rigby-

"She's butter."

"Rigby!"

"Mordecai!"

"Mordecai-

"Guys-

"Mordecai-

"Margaret," Said Mordecai, holding her hands. "I totally understand what you're saying and I agree, really I do. We should get out there. Do more interesting stuff. Together. We'll start tomorrow, I'll book a restaurant. The place that does all the fish. We'll do it properly. Just the two of us. Things'll change. Promise."

"Really Mordecai?"

The landlord called time. Mordecai stared back into space.

"Mordecai?"

The bell rang again.


	2. Chapter 2

_Saturday, 8:00 A.M._

It was a new day in Greater London. An old man collecting discarded trolleys in a supermarket car park, a checkout girl bleeping products through her till, bored commuters ignoring each other in a bus stop, dazed young clubbers wandering into the daylight, a bored kid kicking a football against a wall in a nondescript suburb…

…and Mordecai has just waked up. He yawns, and enters the living room with a tired face. Rigby was sitting on the sofa, playing TimeSplitters 2 in a PS2. He may have been there all the night. Mordecai sat next to him, picked up a game controller and pressed a button.

"Player two has entered the game." A voice boomed.

"Dude, haven't you got work?" Rigby said.

Mordecai put the controller back down.

"Player two has left the game."

The blue jay went to the bathroom, where he peed in the toilet, had a shower and brushed his teeth. Now he was wearing a white short-sleeved shirt with a red bowtie. He straightened it in the mirrored door of the bathroom cabinet which was ajar. He shuts it, revealing Pete standing in the reflection with a face like thunder.

"You do know the front door was open again last night?" He said.

In the kitchen, Mordecai opened the drawer, grabbed a knife and buttered a toast. A bottle of milk hits the table, and Pete screws the lid on.

"I'm not saying it was you."

"I know dude but-

"I'm saying it was Rigby."

"Right."

Pete returned the milk to its rightful place in the fridge. He also wore a shirt and tie, but he was somewhat smarter.

"I can't live like this. Look at the state of it. We're not students anymore."

"Pete-

"It's not like he even brings any real money into the house."

"He brings a bit."

"What, dealing drugs?"

"Come on. He sells a bit of weed every now and again. You've sold puff."

"Once! At college! To you! Anyway, I did a lot of stupid things at college Mordecai. I dressed up as Frank N. Furter, I drank snakebite and black, I slept with a fat girl. Doesn't mean I want to do any of them for a living."

"Look I've known him since primary school. I like having him around. He's a laugh."

"What because he can impersonate an orangutan? Fuck-a-doodle-doo."

"What?"

"He's very lazy Mordecai."

"Oh leave him alone, dude."

"Okay, I admit, he can be pretty funny on occasion. I had a great time that night we sat up drinking Apple Schnapps and playing Tekken 2."

"Yeah, when was that?"

"Five years ago. When is he going home?"

"Whassup niggaz?"

Rigby entered and took the hummus from the fridge; he ate a bit and wandered out, scratching his balls.

"I'll have a word."

A few minutes later, Mordecai was sitting with Rigby, who was still playing TimeSplitters.

"Hey dude, listen… top left…"

"Thanks."

"…I was just going to say… reload!"

"I'm on it."

"…since you're… Oooh nice shot."

"Thanks."

"Since you're in most of the day-

Rigby's mobile phone rang (with the Halloween ring tone).

"Two seconds." He picks it up, and answers "Alright Noodle...No I only got an 'enry. Shortage on...Alright. Laters."

Rigby resumed the game, and Pete waded in.

"Rigby, since you're not working at the moment, could you please clean up a bit?"

"I'm working."

"Since you are in the flat all the time do you think you could clean up a bit?"

"Yep."

"And if you play the answer machine, could you take down everyone's messages, not just your own?"

"Yep."

"It's not that taxing is it? Writing something on a 'post-it' note?"

"Nope."

Pete's mobile rang as he was leaving (Live Forever, by Oasis) and he put on his jacket. On the back there was a 'post-it' reading - 'I AM A PRICK'.

Mordecai saw that and shook his head wearily at Rigby.

"C'mon, dude. It was pretty funny." Said Rigby.

"Seriously, will you do what he said?"

"I ain't doing nothing for him."

"Well, do it for me then."

"I'm sorry Mordecai."

"It's okay."

"No, I'm sorry Mordecai."

Mordecai puzzled, before his expression turned to disgust.

"Oh dude that's bad. You're rotten."

Rigby laughs. Mordecai does too, covering his beak.

"I'll stop doing them when you stop laughing."

"I'm not laughing. I'm going."

Mordecai left, the phone rang and the answer machine picked up.

"Hi, you're through to Peter and Mordecai. Please leave a message after the –

Beep. A red light flashes.

"Hello Mordecai, it's me. Look I'm going to be tied up a bit today, I've got a lot of work in the coffee shop, so when you book the table, can you make it eight rather than seven? You're probably not there anyway. I'll try you at work. so...okay. Bye, bye. Bye. Bye."

 _BANG!_

A football hit Mordecai in the head. He turned to see a bored kid grinning at him, and responded playfully:

"Oh you're dead!"

The blue jay booted the ball back, walked past Pete in his Renault Mégane and started crossing the road. He headed for the newsagent, making a Lancia Delta stopping suddenly while crossing. When he stepped the boardwalk, he almost fell to the ground. Once inside, he grabbed a coke from the fridge and went to the counter.

"Nelson?"

There was no one there. Mordecai waited, while scanning through the day's papers, their headlines partially concealed.

'G.M. CROPS BLAMED FOR...' '...UNIDENTIFIED MUTILATED...'

'...SUPER-FLU...' '...DOWNED SATELLITE CAUSES...'

Mordecai peered closer, and the shopkeeper appeared suddenly.

"Hello my friend. No beer today?"

"Bit early for me."

A pale suited man entered hurriedly while Mordecai was exiting the shop.

"Do you have any aspirin?"

"Sold out."

Mordecai headed for Crouch End Tube Station (which was part of the Northern Line), but it was closed.

"What?!" Said one commuter.

"Body on the line." Said the station guard.

A few minutes later, Mordecai was sitting on a bus crowded with blank passengers, with a pasty guy listening to his Walkman, an old man slowly nodding off. He looked out of the window, and saw a young woman faint. A number of by-passers rushed to her aid.


End file.
